Medicine Art

In my previous post I wrote about how to reconnect to your Artist River and Creative Soul when storms are raging in your life.

Today, I’d like to write about a different type of weather system that can block us from making our art. It is the sort of disconnection that happens over a long period of time and is a result of trauma layered up from childhood. This trauma spills into our adulthood and binds us up, often repeating its gristly pattern, over and over again.

The child who grew up with violence in the home becomes an adult who can read other's moods and body language acutely and whose nervous system remains vigilant, watchful and untrusting of peace. They are the adult who startles easily, takes on too much in an attempt to placate, wakes up at night and can't go back to sleep.

The child whose parents were non-present due to workaholism, may become an adult who pours every hour into working so she can find validation through achievement and, as a result neglects her own children’s needs, fails in her relationships and suffers a major burn out.

The chid who is the victim of sexual abuse, may do anything (or everything) - drink, cut, use, be used - in an attempt to fill the void that has been left from the disassociation required to survive living with an abuser.

Each layer of trauma built in childhood triggers further difficultly in life and each difficulty nestles on top of the next. The mind become focused on "getting through this next hard thing - then it will all be okay". Yet often for those with PTSD or complex trauma, the "next hard thing" just keeps on repeating, like a crazy ocean where the waves are big, brutal and cold.

Throughout this battering, the ability to be creative and connect with the Artist Self can become smothered and choked. The person might start life as highly creative - in fact it is said that survivors of trauma are extremely creative, for they are able to tap into this source to escape, express or make sense of the harsh realities they're negotiating - but over time, with every new battle that emerges as a result of that trauma, those same beautiful souls are worn down and their connection to the Creative Self, worn away a little more.

Rather than getting turned off like a valve, the cord that connects us to the inner artist self simply fades into the background, bit by bit, until one day we go to write or draw and find ourselves alienated from the page.

Voice mute.

Artist quiet.

Creativity surrendered.

That lost creativity becomes another item for the Grief Pocket that we have stitched into our coat and we grieve our inability to find our inspiration.

So, as you can see, for some - maybe you, maybe me, maybe us - returning to the Wild Artist River isn't always as straightforward as it sounds.

But for those who want to return to their creative roots and feel the power of making in their blood and bones again, I will say this:

Not all art begins with huge, dancing transformation inspirations that fill your body with an "electric YES!" and oodles of sunshine and sparkles.

Some art has a different beginning.

Like the seeds that grow in the hot, scorched places such as the desert lily and cactus flower, or those that blossom in the icy cold climates, like the Arctic Poppy … some artwork grows out of hardness, pain and challenge.

And sometimes, the creative expressions born out of pain are exactly what YOU need to make and what the WORLD needs to see or hear at this particular time.

Art born from the need for medicine, BECOMES the medicine that this world needs.

After my brother died, I created a bit of this “medicine art” that became a book. I didn't know where to start with this piece of self expression, so I just began with some sheets of water colour paper, a chunky paint brush and a fine liner. I wrote some words that spoke from my experience of being a child growing up with a challenging, physically violent and emotionally abusive older male sibling in an isolated house, deep in the countryside. The piece of art became a book. The book became a programme. The programme attracted groups of girls who wanted to heal their relationship with themselves. The programme was published into a teen book. The teen book was then published in other languages and now all over the world, that medicine spreads.

The journey that this piece of art took me on healed me on many levels. That piece of art then went out and helped a whole load of other people to heal too.

If your life feels challenging or painful right now and you aren't full of glittering power and creative magic, then there are other pathways back into your creativity. I promise you.

Make some Medicine Art:

Find a quiet place and take a pad and pen with you. Identify the dominant feeling that the trauma has left you with: loneliness, anger, disempowerment, isolation, feeling lost …. Whatever it is, write it down on a page in a notebook. Do not write the cause of the feeling … just the feeling itself.

Now, answer this question: What does … (this feeling) … want to say?

Write. Write whatever comes to you, through you, from you. Even if it seems crazy, follow the trail of the words. Track them. Let them guide you. Keep writing, free flow, stream of consciousness and let the feeling bring its voice to the page. Let whatever needs to be said be said … until the writing is done.

Now rest. Sleep. Go running. Cry. Plant something. Have a bath. Take care of yourself.

You have just started the beginning of your Medicine Art. Tomrrow, return to the page and write again.